The 6 Degrees of My Patrons...

So, you may have noticed in the sidebar that my patrons are listed.  If I could go back to Confirmation and add all of them to my name, I would, so it'd be Jennifer Lynn Magdalene Michael Thérèse Joan Thomas.  These five help keep me afloat more than any of my other 9,000 heavenly relatives.

St. Mary Magdalene, my girl.  I chose her for Confirmation after seven years of being an angry, ignorant, obstinate "atheist."   Her radical conversion, turn toward Christ, and her role as the first apostle really sold me.  Regardless of her actual person, I consider her to be ALL THE THINGS: the sinful woman caught in adultery, the one who washed Jesus' feet with her tears and dried them with her hair, and the one from whom Jesus cast out seven demons (or whatever).  No, I don't think or believe or will ever even consider that she was "married" to Jesus, which is why I tend to get incredibly PISSED when ignorant fools take liberties with her (and the Church in general).  Many things are often done in the name of Mary Magdalene to promote a liberal agenda of "gender equality" in the Church.  That's crap.  People with this agenda clearly don't understand Theology of the Body.  We're already equal.  We're equal but different.  Man is not woman, and woman is not man; don't freaking get me started.  Anyways.  I think she might get a little pissed here and there that people are using her to do whatever the hell they want in the Church instead of paying attention to the radical conversion, love, and obedience she had toward Christ.  Godwilling, if my husband agrees, my first daughter will be named Magdalene.

St. Michael, the Archangel, my boy.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE St. Michael.  Most of the time, people imagine angels as fat, naked baby angels with little wings.  Disgusting.  I'm sorry, but it's hard for me to believe that a fat little baby angel kicked Satan's ass out of heaven.  This, however, would be something more accurate:

This is my favorite representation of St. Michael.  It's so badass.  It matches the stories (Daniel and Revelation) really well.  Ok ok ok ok ok so there are 9 choirs of angels, right?  Archangels are the second from the bottom.  Only one step up from guardian angels.  And THIS ONE gets out of rank against A SERAPHIM BY THE NAME OF LUCIFER to CHALLENGE HIS OBEDIENCE.  KAPOOYAH.  I love the meaning of his name as well:  Mi-cha-El means "Who is like God?"  I love that his name is a battle cry, a challenge, a KICK STRAIGHT TO THE FACE OF SATAN.  Fr. Quinn once told me that "St. Michael is a good patron for you, Jen.  You don't give up."  I think my devotion to St. Michael began during my first (and last) year of teaching, which was a very dark place for me.  I discovered St. Michael the Archangel Chaplets, and I began making and praying them all the time.  A few years ago, I discovered the awesomeness that is the brown scapular, and I found one with St. Michael on it.  I love praying the St. Michael prayer in Latin, too.  It feels like I kick Satan in the face when I pray it that way.  It makes him cry.  Hah!  Godwilling, my first boy will be named Michael.

St. Thérèse of Lisieux, Little Flower and, what?, DOCTOR OF THE CHURCH:  Her little way and life of radical abandon (l'abandon) had me smitten within the first few pages of reading Story of a Soul.  If anyone thinks that the Church oppresses women, they need look no farther than this spiritual tank of tanks.  FIFTEEN years old when she entered the Carmel, one of the most difficult religious orders ever.  Thérèse helps me to be quiet and think.  I distinctly remember reading a part of Story of a Soul that described how, as a little girl, she used to go to a specific, quiet place in her house "just to think."  I love this.  I love contemplation.  I love her obedience and self-sacrifice.  I also love the fact that she was a little spitfire.  She was very "sensitive," but also very fiery.

St. Joan of Arc, the Maid of Orleans and Martyr:  I fell in love with this girl when I read Recollections on Joan of Arc by Mark Twain.  Once I figured out that her visions were of St. Michael the Archangel, I was smitten.  A twelve year old girl being visited by an angel- ring any bells?  Anyways, she began her mission at age 15, and successfully led ARMIES to restore the rightful heir of France to the throne, not that I care much about the French, but hey, it was a pretty damn brave thing to do.  Isn't France also considered the "Eldest Daughter of the Church" or something?  Anyways, as I was reading the book by Twain, I was just baffled.  I know that it's a work of fiction (and, coincidentally, his favorite work), but as I read it, I knew it was Truth, and you all know how much I love Truth.

St. Thomas Aquinas, my love.  My first encounter with Aquinas had to do with this:

"First encounter with Aquinas. St. John Summer Conference 2011."  This is question 12.

If ever I were to have a crush on a saint, it'd definitely be him.  HE.  IS.  SUCH.  A.  GENIUS.  My first encounter was at the St. John Summer Conference in 2011, which was amazing.  We had a class in philosophy first (studied a part of Nicomachean Ethics), and then we did a little bit on the Summa Theologica.  When we began reading the exerpt from the Summa, I fell head-over-heels.  I was reading Truth, and I just fell and fell and fell.  My conversion back in 2004 was very intellectual.  True, I'm a total whack-job when it comes to my faith, but I prefer intellectual formation more than anything.  I could read all the time, because it's Truth.  As soon as I got back from the conference, I purchased a copy of the basic works of Aristotle, which contained Nicomachean Ethics, and started reading.  Someone suggested that I do that, as Aquinas leans on Aristotle a ton.   I made it through book 6 before I couldn't take it anymore.  I mean, WHAT THE FRICK WAS I DOING?!  I don't even have a philosophy degree!  WHO DOES THAT?!  Anyways, one of my acquaintances learned about my new-found love of the saint, and he let me borrow this:

As if I'd be able to read these in a year.

I could have DIED.  Then.  THEN, one of my friends gave me an entire 3-volume leather bound set of the Summa Theologica for Christmas, because he just happened to have 2 extra copies (the tool, but more on that later).  Well, THEN, another friend of mine gave me another set of the exact same copy.  KABOOM!

Well, a falling-out with the first friend led me to sell the first set.  But I still have the second one.  <3 They're pretty hefty, though, and I'd really like a paper-back copy, but still!  I'm working my way through it.  It's difficult, but easy enough to follow if I take my time.  And, it's TRUTH, and it makes me fall deeper in love with Jesus.  I've also read Chesterton's account of Aquinas, and it made me love him more and more.  I think he was definitely a melancholic, that's for sure.  When I attempted to read The Divine Comedy, I made it all the way through Inferno, Purgatorio, and Aquinas's monologue in Paradiso before I couldn't take it anymore.

Then.  THEN, on the way back from our pilgrimage to EWTN during the CYE Missionary Internship, we stopped at St. Meinrad Seminary.  They have a chapel named for Aquinas.  Why?  BECAUSE THEY HAVE A RELIC OF HIM IN A STATUE RIGHT ACROSS THE HALL!

I kissed it three times!!!!!  <3

 Heh.  I love this saint.  I love his gift of perpetual chastity, his humility, his love of the Eucharist, his desiring nothing but the Lord, and his intellect.  He is proof that obedience to the teachings of the Catholic Church isn't blind and dumb parroting.  Also, his feast day is exactly 6 months from my birthday.  I can't wait to meet him some day.

NOW, the fun part.  I found out that they are ALL connected to one another (well, besides being in heaven, and Catholic, duh).  Up to this point, Aquinas was always kind of the odd guy out, but that changed this summer.  Ready?  Here we go.

St. Joan of Arc received visions from St. Michael the Archangel.
St. Thérèse of Lisieux loved St. Joan of Arc and St. Mary Magdalene.
St. Mary Magdalene IS THE PATRONESS OF THE DOMINICANS, AQUINAS'S ORDER.

This last one blew my mind.  I found out on her feast day this year from a beast of a priest.  She's the patron of the Order of Preachers because she was the first to preach the Resurrection, being Apostle of Apostles and all.

UPDATE 1/23/14: St. Thérèse wrote about the Song of Songs in the last few pages of Story of a Soul, and Thomas Aquinas asked that the entire Canticle be read to him as he was dying.  BOOM!

So there you go.  Find some patrons and fall in love with them.