I got to see Cardinal Dolan.
TWICE.
This calls for a bit of back story.
His Eminence was Archbishop of Milwaukee when I first began working as the Youth Minister at Holy Name and St. Clement in Sheboygan. As diocesan staff, we received weekly emails from the Archbishop's office. Dolan's was called "Some Seeds Fell on Good Ground." (Archbishop Listecki's is called "Love One Another.") And one of the first emails I got from him (July 22, 2008, OH MY GOD THE FEAST DAY OF ST. MARY MAGDALENE. I JUST REALIZED THIS.) was about the faith and spirituality of bikers. To conclude, he wrote:
"It reminded me once again that, deep down in the human spirit is a longing for God, a hunger for the Divine, a thirst for the beyond, a strong hunch that there is indeed a God who is in charge, who loves us and cares for us. We often rail against the “secularism” of our “evil age.” And, Lord knows, there’s plenty of evidence around us to back-up a tempting despair that the world has gone-to-hell-in-a-hand basket. But, God has not, and will not, give up on us, and, as I was reminded last Saturday, in the strangest of places -- a gathering of bikers who looked more frightening than faithful -- most of us have not given up on God, either. Maybe instead of groaning that everybody has gone pagan, secular and faithless on us, we ought to rejoice in the spark of belief, hope and goodness that we almost unfailingly find in people -- even those decked out in chains, tattoos, leather jackets, and black boots."
I loved him instantly. Well, because at that stage in my life, I looked like this:
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| (I still do, on occasion.) |
Anyways. I replied to this email with some thoughtful sentiments that I can't remember, expecting no reply. Well, 2 days later, I got one, which said, "Thanks for the kind words, Jenny!" -Archbishop Dolan. (I'm an idiot for not printing it out and keeping it.)
I FREAKED.
Then, I attended my first ever John Bosco Youth Day, and he celebrated Mass with us. After, I was able to snag a few photos:
But I got one. Two week s later, I received a letter in the mail. Heh. He got the address wrong on the inside, but it still got to me.:
love love love.
Then. THEN, he came to celebrate Mass at St. Clement on Christmas Eve. After Mass, I just kind of waited patiently in the throng of people. He's so funny. People don't form lines to go to him; they just swarm him, much like Jesus, I suppose. So, he just turns around and around to greet people. Well, he finally turned to me. His face lit up and he exclaimed, "JENNY!" and threw his hands up in the air.
Holy Crap. An Archbishop remembers my name! My heart just about exploded. We exchanged pleasantries and he asked after me, and I was outta there.
So then, and this is the best story, Archbishop was reassigned to New York. He came to Holy HIll for two consecutive weekends to say Mass and goodbye. I went there with Sr. Mary Assumpta. After Mass, we scrambled to the receiving line. As Archbishop drew near, he recognized me and said, "Jenny!!" Again, I was astounded that he remembered me. I asked him to bless me, and I said, "Archbishop, please pray for my vocation." He responded with:
"Jenny, every time we lose a seminarian, I'll think of you."
Bahahah. We laughed and he kept going. Now, judging from my previous posts, you all know how I feel about keeping my seminarian brothers at arms-length because I don't wanna be, as Fassbender so sensitively puts it, a "chalice chipper."However. This spoke fathoms to me about what to expect for my vocation. While I personally don't expect my future spouse to be a former seminarian (who knows? Maybe he will be.), I do expect him to be holy and well-formed. And not so much well-formed as holy.
So fast forward, what, 5 years? I've been trying to follow Dolan as much as possible after he left Milwaukee. He is just a phenomenal face of the Church in the United States. Well, suddenly, he's giving a pallium lecture in Milwaukee this year, so I grab tickets way back in April. Then, about 2 weeks ago, I was invited to a dinner event to support St. Francis Seminary, and who was just going to happen to be there? CARDINAL DOLAN. Dude dude dude. So that's this week.
Now, let's focus on some things that his Eminence said at the lecture. It was so enriching. He spoke so masterfully on how we need to approach apologetics:
"Apologetics is the art of credibly, convincingly, and compellingly defending and presenting our Faith. I mean a humble, cheerful, confident, rational, grounding in our Catholic faith with an ability to defend stupid attacks: when people say we worship the Pope, that we're cannibals at the Eucharist, that we think that our Blessed Mother is God, that confession makes sin easy, and that the Church is the whore of Babylon. We believe that the Catholic Church is the One, True, Holy Catholic, and Apostolic Faith. Apologetics prepares us to survive irrational criticism of our Faith that is ALL OVER the place today. We need it more than ever. Are you prepared? Am I prepared to defend our Catholic Faith against those who want to take it away from us and our children, who will feel they are doing us a big favor by liberating us from the shackles of an oppressive, corrupt, superstitious, unbiblical, irrational, anti-Christ church? These liberators might be the late night talk-show hosts, they might be class-mates of our kids, or coworkers, or neighbors. They might be editorial page journalists. But they misunderstand the awe and the beauty and the freedom and the Truth of our Catholic Faith. And are we prepared to *engage them*, and let them know by the radiance of our words and actions that we cherish our Church? We're well aware of its shortcomings, but we're prepared to die, and what's more important, live with and for Jesus and His Church. That, my brothers and sisters, is apologetics, and we need it more than ever."That got me totally JACKED, because it's exactly what I'm doing.
Archbishop Listecki concluded with a few comments, the most touching of which was:
"The Cardinal, myself, and my brother priests have been in love with the same woman for a long time."
Unfortunately, we couldn't get a glimpse of Cardinal or Archbishop at the lecture that evening, but my mind was made up: I would see him at the dinner event. I wanted to accomplish 3 things: give him a St. Michael Chaplet that I made (I used gold instead of silver), have him sign my book, and have him bless my St. Michael Scapular.
It was a black-tie event, so I was dressed to the nines and nervous as hell. I felt stupid because I was carrying around a clashing black backpack with all my crap in it instead of a coordinated purse (Boy, how I've changed.). Anyways, I saw about 50 people I knew. No exaggeration: I know a plethora of priests, a smattering of seminarians, and all of their families. But, after having a small glass of wine to calm my nerves, I got my book, chaplet, and scapular ready to go so I'd need as little time as possible.
I finally saw a flash of black & red and black & magenta. They were on their way out. Everyone else was so busy socializing with one another that they didn't notice. I stealthily, with much alacrity, worked my way toward the group. After kissing Cardinal Harvey's hand, I meekly stepped up to Dolan.
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| I think the last time I smiled like this was when I met MxPx. |
But, as soon as I kissed his hand, the tears began welling. He looked at me (quickly glancing at my nametag, hah!), and said, "Jen! I remember you, fondly!" Heh. I asked, "Please, may I hug you?" and gave him a hug. With trembling hands, I opened my book and asked him to sign it. He did.
What came out next must have sounded like this:
"PleaseEminencecouldyoublessmySt.MichaelScapularandspeakingofSt.Michael,IknowyourmiddlenameisMichaelsoImadethischapletforyou."
He blessed my scapular and said, "Make sure you wear it." I was doing all I could to keep from crying as I handed him the chaplet that I made. He said it was beautiful and thanked me. I told him to keep fighting the good fight and walked away shaking and crying a bit. I walked it off, talked to a few more people I knew, then headed back to see Archbishop Listecki.
As I approached Archbishop, his face lit up.
A bit of backstory: His Excellency was installed as Archbishop of Milwaukee on January 4, 2010. The first Confirmation he did in the Archdiocese was at our Confirmation for Holy Name, St. Clement, and St. Dominic. About two months before the liturgy, the Confirmandi wrote letters to him requesting to be Confirmed. Well, when I walked up to him before Mass began to introduce myself, I said, "Archbishop, I'm Jenny."
He said, "Jenny. Jenny Lowery? The youth minister?" I said, "Yes, Archbishop." He looked me squarely in the eye and said, in no uncertain terms: "Half of these kids are here because of you." A chill ran down my spine.
Fast forward about five months. The Archdiocese of Milwaukee has a "welcome-back" day for all DREs, YMs, etc., etc. Well, I'd never been to the Cousins Center before, and I thought it was at St. Francis Seminary. Whoopsies. I was pissed because my primary fault (pride) was hurting. I would have to walk in late, everyone would see me walk in late, and I would be humiliated. I walked in to the welcome back day about 10 minutes late, squarely in the middle of morning prayer. BUT, as I scanned the room for a chair, the nearest empty one was AT THE ARCHBISHOP'S TABLE.
I caught his eye, and he whispered, "Jenny!" and motioned for me to come over. I thought he just wanted to say hello, so I walked over to shake his hand. He motioned for me to sit down. The table had a "reserved" sign on it, and I started freaking out. "Are you sure it's ok?" Yes, sit with us," he replied. (Boy, the wound of woman (not being good enough) sure runs deep, doesn't it?) My heart COULD HAVE EXPLODED. Not only did Archbishop remember me, but I got to sit with him. Luke 14:8-11 in action, baby!!!
Dude. Love. So, anyways, back to this seminary supper on Friday. I approached Archbishop, kissed his hand. He said, "Jenny, how are ya? Where are ya?" I told him about the new job, etc. It was funny. I used the wrong title for him. I called him "Eminence," and he said, "no, I'm just Excellency. Eminence is over there," and he pointed to the two Cardinals. Bahahahah! Anyways, I told him that what he'd said the previous evening (about being in love with the same woman for a long time) was so important for me to hear as a woman. I thanked him and told him to keep fighting the good fight.
Then. THEN. Enter MY Bishop.
The Diocese of Green Bay sends several of its seminarians to St. Francis Seminary. So, naturally, Fr. Dan Schuster and Bishop Ricken were there. I don't know why I didn't expect to see him, though.
I love Bishop Ricken. Now, I don't know abut anything Canonical to the contrary, but I was confirmed in the Diocese of GB, it's where my conversion took place, it's home to CYE, and I consider it my home diocese, and I'm loyal to Bishop Ricken above anyone else. I mean, clearly, I'm loyal to all Bishops, especially Listecki since I've switched flocks, but Ricken has a special place in my heart. I've had donuts with him at his house, prayed in his personal chapel, received specific formation from him on CYE, gone to Confession with him on the March 4 Life, and more. He always remembers my name and asks after me. He's such a good spiritual Father. So when I found him standing next to Fr. Schuster, I wasn't flooded with nervousness or an inclination to cry or tremble. I was overcome with joy, however. It was just like I was talking to a family member that I get to see sporadically. After I kissed his hand and shook it, he held onto my hand and asked after me. I told him that I was back in the Archmil, to which he replied, "Oh! Haha! You traitor! Haha! I was wondering where you were! I haven't seen you in a while." We chuckled and I told him that I still use prayer hands during the Our Father instead of the orans position, "because I'm not a priest! I can't be!" (Archbishop Listecki hasn't spoken about this issue yet.). We all chuckled.
Because Bishop Ricken wasn't flocked with people, I didn't feel rushed or like I was eating up his time. So I just said, "Please, Bishop, correct me." (This is what Peggy said to Mother Teresa when she said her final vows.) He gave me a little eyebrow lift that said, "What the heck do you mean?" So I said, "Tell me something; correct me."
He leaned in and said, "Now, I'm talking to myself as well, but you need to keep praying. Also, you need to practice the presence of God. If you've read the book, read it again (I haven't). You need to see God in all things. And you need to get to the point that you will do nothing to offend God."
BAM.
I thanked him, told him to keep fighting the good fight, and left.
From the Catechism of the Catholic Church on in persona Christi capitis:
In the person of Christ the Head . . .
1548 In the ecclesial service of the ordained minister, it is Christ himself who is present to his Church as Head of his Body, Shepherd of his flock, high priest of the redemptive sacrifice, Teacher of Truth. This is what the Church means by saying that the priest, by virtue of the sacrament of Holy Orders, acts in persona Christi Capitis:23
- It is the same priest, Christ Jesus, whose sacred person his minister truly represents. Now the minister, by reason of the sacerdotal consecration which he has received, is truly made like to the high priest and possesses the authority to act in the power and place of the person of Christ himself (virtute ac persona ipsius Christi).24Christ is the source of all priesthood: the priest of the old law was a figure of Christ, and the priest of the new law acts in the person of Christ.25
1549 Through the ordained ministry, especially that of bishops and priests, the presence of Christ as head of the Church is made visible in the midst of the community of believers.26 In the beautiful expression of St. Ignatius of Antioch, the bishop is typos tou Patros: he is like the living image of God the Father.27
1550 This presence of Christ in the minister is not to be understood as if the latter were preserved from all human weaknesses, the spirit of domination, error, even sin. The power of the Holy Spirit does not guarantee all acts of ministers in the same way. While this guarantee extends to the sacraments, so that even the minister's sin cannot impede the fruit of grace, in many other acts the minister leaves human traces that are not always signs of fidelity to the Gospel and consequently can harm the apostolic fruitfulness of the Church.
1551 This priesthood is ministerial. "That office . . . which the Lord committed to the pastors of his people, is in the strict sense of the term a service."28 It is entirely related to Christ and to men. It depends entirely on Christ and on his unique priesthood; it has been instituted for the good of men and the communion of the Church. The sacrament of Holy Orders communicates a "sacred power" which is none other than that of Christ. The exercise of this authority must therefore be measured against the model of Christ, who by love made himself the least and the servant of all.29 "The Lord said clearly that concern for his flock was proof of love for him."30
23 Cf. LG 10; 28; SC 33; CD 11; PO 2; 6.
24 Pius XII, encyclical, Mediator Dei: AAS, 39 (1947) 548.
25 St. Thomas Aquinas, STh III,22,4c.
26 Cf. LG 21.
27 St. Ignatius of Antioch, Ad Trall. 3,1:SCh 10,96; cf. Ad Magn. 6,1:SCh 10,82-84.
28 LG 24.
29 Cf. Mk 10:43-45; 1 Pet 5:3.
30 St. John Chrysostom, De sac. 2, 4:PG 48, 636; cf. Jn 21:15-17.
And on the Ordination of Bishops:
Episcopal ordination - fullness of the sacrament of Holy Orders
1555 "Amongst those various offices which have been exercised in the Church from the earliest times the chief place, according to the witness of tradition, is held by the function of those who, through their appointment to the dignity and responsibility of bishop, and in virtue consequently of the unbroken succession going back to the beginning, are regarded as transmitters of the apostolic line."34
1556 To fulfill their exalted mission, "the apostles were endowed by Christ with a special outpouring of the Holy Spirit coming upon them, and by the imposition of hands they passed on to their auxiliaries the gift of the Spirit, which is transmitted down to our day through episcopal consecration."35
1557 The Second Vatican Council "teaches . . . that the fullness of the sacrament of Holy Orders is conferred by episcopal consecration, that fullness namely which, both in the liturgical tradition of the Church and the language of the Fathers of the Church, is called the high priesthood, the acme (summa) of the sacred ministry."36
1558 "Episcopal consecration confers, together with the office of sanctifying, also the offices of teaching and ruling. . . . In fact . . . by the imposition of hands and through the words of the consecration, the grace of the Holy Spirit is given, and a sacred character is impressed in such wise that bishops, in an eminent and visible manner, take the place of Christ himself, teacher, shepherd, and priest, and act as his representative (in Eius persona agant)."37 "By virtue, therefore, of the Holy Spirit who has been given to them, bishops have been constituted true and authentic teachers of the faith and have been made pontiffs and pastors."38
1559 "One is constituted a member of the episcopal body in virtue of the sacramental consecration and by the hierarchical communion with the head and members of the college."39 The character and collegial nature of the episcopal order are evidenced among other ways by the Church's ancient practice which calls for several bishops to participate in the consecration of a new bishop.40 In our day, the lawful ordination of a bishop requires a special intervention of the Bishop of Rome, because he is the supreme visible bond of the communion of the particular Churches in the one Church and the guarantor of their freedom.
1560 As Christ's vicar, each bishop has the pastoral care of the particular Church entrusted to him, but at the same time he bears collegially with all his brothers in the episcopacy the solicitude for all the Churches: "Though each bishop is the lawful pastor only of the portion of the flock entrusted to his care, as a legitimate successor of the apostles he is, by divine institution and precept, responsible with the other bishops for the apostolic mission of the Church."41
1561 The above considerations explain why the Eucharist celebrated by the bishop has a quite special significance as an expression of the Church gathered around the altar, with the one who represents Christ, the Good Shepherd and Head of his Church, presiding.42
36 LG 21 § 2.
37 LG 21.
38 CD 2 § 2.
39 LG 22.
40 Cf. LG 22.
41 Pius XII, Fidei donum: AAS 49 (1957) 237; cf. LG 23; CD 4; 36; 37; AG 5; 6; 38.
42 Cf. SC 41; LG 26.
I find it incredibly fascinating how I reacted to these three apostolic successors. The Holy Spirit definitely manifested Himself differently with each Shepherd.
Dolan is bigger than life. Literally. He’s a big man. He’s joyful, jolly, and, for lack of a better term, powerful. He’s INSANELY INTELLIGENT, and he freaking knows the faith well. He’s loving, witty, and quick on his feet, but there’s something simmering beneath that warns you he is not to be trifled with. I think my reaction to him would certainly fit the gifts of Fear of the Lord and Reverence. And it wasn’t the bad fear that 1 John 4:18 warns us about. It was an awful fear. A fear full of awe. Like, you look at this man, and you know he knows. He just knows. He knows what is going on and he knows what to do. He is anchored and steadfast. He is big. He is immovable. He isn’t my direct spiritual leader (read “bishop”) anymore, but he’s a leader of my leader, and that’s HUGE.
Listecki
is just a spiritual tank. He has such a
powerful, booming voice, which is one of my favorite things about him. He’s very strong and unyielding, but kind and
approachable. I think the gifts that popped up were Fortitude, Knowledge, and Understanding.
It took fortitude to go back into the mob after the encounter with
Dolan, I grew in my knowledge of Church etiquette when Excellency corrected me,
and I understood how he felt about the Church.
There is nothing more worthy of respect (from a woman) than a man who
genuinely loves, honors, and protects his wife.
When women see that our Church leaders are in love with the Bride, it awakens something deep in our
souls. We are that Bride. When
Listecki says such things about his Bride, he tells women that he will love,
honor, and protect us his whole life by leading us to heaven. And that
is what we as women need to hear from our priests (and fathers, and men in
general. Unfortunately, most of us are
so deaf to this (or men aren’t saying it loud enough or at all), that we
completely miss this side of our Faith. Listecki
is also my spiritual leader, which means that he’s already praying for me and
laying down his life specifically for me.
He has a great sense of humor, but I absolutely LOVE how serious he is
about the Faith. I can’t tell you
why. Perhaps is because I take my faith
very seriously, too.
Then
there’s my Bishop Ricken, who emits such a strong sense of familial love
whenever I’m around him. I know I can
speak with him on a personal level that doesn’t intimidate me. Naturally, the gifts of Counsel and Wisdom
surfaced. A wise man loves correction (Prov. 9:8). A quiet, unintimidating,
familial, gentle encounter with Jesus is what you get when you are around
Bishop Ricken. And, by unintimidating, I
don’t mean weak. He’s not weak, and he
can be intimidating (so don’t mess with him.
Hah!). Jesus wants to correct me,
but He wants me to come to Him for correction.
To ask for it instead of making a mistake and then being corrected the
hard way. Jesus wants to hold my hand
longer than I want Him to. He wants me
to be holy. He wants to whisper good
directions in my ear as everyone around me is completely lost in
themselves. I mean, just look at the picture of the two of us above. We're at the Shrine of Our Lady of Good Help, standing in front of biffies! What a great place to meet Jesus.
Our Faith
is very vociferous, sonorous, odorous, savory, and palpable. In a word:
sensuous. We use all of our senses to
experience our Faith, and, most often we personify Christ to others, as these
men do, literally, in Persona Christi.
But, after
writing all of this, I guess I’m still kind of disappointed with myself.
Why don’t
I approach Jesus in the same way? Why
don’t I get anxious and joyful to the point of tears as I anticipate Mass? As I go to adoration? Why am I not moved to tears all the time as I
read the Scripture that is inundated with descriptions of Christ’s love for the
Church? Why don’t I ask Jesus to correct
me every single time I see Him? Why do I try to pull away from His Hand
before He wants to let me go?
It’s
because I’m human and I suck at life.
During the Pallium lecture, Cardinal
Dolan quoted Historian Lord Macaulay:
"After considerable study, and with some admitted regret as a Protestant, I must confess that I consider the Roman Catholic Church to be of divine origin, because no mere human institution run with such knavish imbecility could have survived two weeks."
It’s so
true. We all fail, we all fall
short. As much as I tell myself that
love is an act of the will, I still
need the affective side to it. We need
both: the Lover and the Beloved. God the
Father and God the Son, but also the Love that flows between them (God the Holy
Spirit). To be in actual relationship
with Christ, to be recognized, loved and cherished by the Bishops is very
similar to being loved by Christ, as they are His representatives on
Earth.
To feel the loving embrace of Christ’s
arms in AN ACTUAL HUG.
To kiss His hand.
To hear and see how much He is in love with me in front of a crowd of four thousand people.
To hear and obey His gentle correction and
fortification when I ask Him for it.
To hear that He also struggles.
To feel his hand grasping mind.
To taste and smell the meal He shares with us.
God
pursues my feminine soul. He romances
and courts me, and He’s able to do that through the holy, awesome, joyful,
strong, and gentle Princes of His Church, because He knows that they love Her
almost as much as He does.
Post Script:
I've learned that I should forego the lip gloss if I'm going to be around Bishops. (Whoopsies! Ack!)
Post Post Script from the Catechism:
1578 No one has a right to receive the sacrament of Holy Orders. Indeed no one claims this office for himself; he is called to it by God.69 Anyone who thinks he recognizes the signs of God's call to the ordained ministry must humbly submit his desire to the authority of the Church, who has the responsibility and right to call someone to receive orders. Like every grace this sacrament can be received only as an unmerited gift.
69 Cf. Heb 5:4.
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